Fortress of Attitude

2009-10-27T17:30:00.000-07:00

I was incredibly stocked when I first learned of the Arctic Monkeys.
But I was soon informed they weren't Inuits covering the works of Michael Nesmith and then not so much....

2009-10-27T16:03:00.001-07:00

Breathe, damn you! Breathe!!....

2006-09-05T20:34:00.000-07:00

Just taking the time that being ill has given me to type up and post this little diatribe. Amazing what a "little" extra mucus will do to your outlook...

Q’s RE: Sexy Back

I know I shouldn’t… I really shouldn’t… but I can’t help it. “They” have been playing the song too often and now people are using it as a quick quip/quote.

OK. Justin Timberlake is bringing sexy back. Justin is bringing it back. Tends to imply that he took it away in the first place, doesn’t it? I’m not saying he flat out said he took it. It wouldn’t stand up in a court of law. But still…

If he took it, when and why? When Brittany flit(-head)-ed out of his life? Interesting that he brought it back after he started seeing Charlize Theron, isn‘t it? If that was the case, I think we’d all understand and he really ought to fess up. But if he didn’t, who did?

Who took the sexy? And how did Justin get his hands on it? I mean… There just seems to be something missing to the story. What isn’t Justin telling us? Why didn’t anyone bother to tell us the sexy was gone? Nothing. Not one word in the press: CNN, ABC, FOX, Drudge, not even Google News….

Some kind of warning would have been nice. We all could have kept an eye open and then Justin and Timbaland wouldn’t have had to bear all the pressure of bringing the sexy back. Justin’s album might have been finished months earlier. Missy Elliot might have gotten another one out. Hell, we may have finally heard a solo album from Timbaland. But no… they had to go all QT and need to know...

There should have been some sort of alert; probably some sort of number or letter alert. Hurricanes get names, missing kids have the Amber Alert system, terrorism is all color-coordinated….

Was it al Quida? Did Osama take the sexy? (Lord knows he could use all the help he can get; mountain goats are notoriously picky.)

And was Justin the right man for the job? I’m not an expert, but I understand he’s a sexy young man, but professionally he’s an entertainer. Wouldn’t a strike team made up of Queer Eye, What Not to Wear, Dr. 90210, Blow Out and Miami Ink have been better? Then again, that may be overkill.

The most important question that this raises, however, is did we really need the sexy back all that badly if we didn’t even notice it was gone in the first place? Maybe we can get along with just a little sexy. After all, isn’t down-sizing, conservation, doing-more-with-less all the rage?

We could… we could have passed the hat, have a fund-raiser. “If you have any sexy laying about…”. Just talk to people, y’know? Ask Antonio Banderas for some spare sexy. He is too much the sexy. According to Horatio Sanz, and Horatio is the arbiter of all things sexy, after all…

So thanks, Justin. Thanks soooo much. I’ve got this song stuck in my head and it won’t go away.

Damn you, Justin Timberlake. Damn you and the groove you rode in on.

2006-07-25T06:36:00.000-07:00

Adventures of a Caffeinated Librarian

Odd day last Thursday:

I helped an older black lady (who may have actually been African American. It’s hard to tell; she didn’t say and I didn’t think to ask) find her grandfather or gr-grandfather in the Census Records on Ancestry.com. He was a former slave who was freed when he volunteered to fight for the South.

She was rather embarrassed to mention it, which I understand with the rampant PC-ness that severely needs quashing. It’s nothing to me, ‘cause the way I figure it there were a number of people who were against slavery that fought for the South but for states rights taking precedent over the slavery issue and a number of pro-slavery people that fought for the North because they thought the Fed should take precedent over the State. This was a fellow who saw fighting for the South as being his way out of slavery and I'm supposed to have a problem with that....

Is it better to do the right thing for the wrong reason or to be in the right while you’re doing wrong? Don’t ask me, I’m still digesting the fact that Wash is dead…..

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Then I lied to two itty-bitties while on the job.

I was helping a kiddie-garder find some horse stories while her younger sister tagged along. The smaller one kept looking at me and finally asked what was on my nose. I eventually figured out she meant the flesh-coloured mole next to my right nostril.

Without thinking about it, I said I was growing another nose.

4 big eyes asked why.

I had a friend who lost his nose in a bad accident and we were cloning another one. Once it gets big enough we're going to the hospital and he'll have an operation to attach it to his face.

What happened to your friend?

Well, there was this skunk involved and it smelt so bad that his nose exploded.

I then tried to let them know I was just storying, but after the older of the two said "That's good because lying is wrong", I'm not sure they understood.

And then they'll tell their folks and will be praised for their imagination....

And the kid's will be thinking "but the librarian said.....".

Destroying our future two children at a time, I am.

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Read a children’s bio on HA & Margret Rey (Curious George) @ lunch because it was there and an adult bio on the couple doesn’t seem to exist. Short version: they were German Jews who met in Brazil and escape from Paris just a day or two before the Nazis rolled in on bicycles that HA built!! George (under another name) was created before they bugged out, but I think his riding a bike was influenced by the escape. And on top of that, HA had a big yellow hat.

Nazis, hats, exotic locales, narrow escapes with manuscripts…. It was like Indiana Jones without the whip.

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One lady came up to check out a new edition of Dumbo on dvd, which I didn’t know was out, and I proceeded to spew nonsense:

What? Dumbo! I didn’t know this was out. I’m gonna have to pick this up. The missus is into the “girly” Disney films: Cinderella, Snow White and such, but give me a drunk elephant and a mouse in a tiny band marching band uniform and I’m happy.

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One of the librarians has vowed to kiss a pig if 3000 kids sign up for the summer reading program @ her branch. I’ve had way too many questions about this event:

How far in advance does one need to book a pig? You never know when there might be a sudden surge in pig rentals and you wouldn’t want to be left in the lurch.

How much does if cost to rent a pig? Is it by the hour or flat rate? Does it fluctuate with hog futures? Do you need to make a deposit? Take out insurance?

How does one locate pig rentals? They're not listed in the phone book. And how to check their references?

Do they have to be bonded or licensed? If so, is there a test, a study guide?

How often are the pigs checked for transmittable diseases?

Since there will also be a dunk tank at the event, would it better to get dunked before or after kissing said pig?

At what point does it change from good, old-fashioned pig-kissin' to bestiality? If the pig struggles (implying an unwillingness to be kissed)? If there's tongue involved? What if it was the pig's tongue? Could the pig then be charged? If the pig is under-aged, could pig-kissing be considered contributing to the delinquency of a minor?

And others I'm likely forgetting...

This day's question was:
Would it be a good idea to try to find some ham-flavored lipstick to make the pig more comfortable?

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Afterwards, I wondered aloud to Mrs. Sivana (after being somewhat chastised for lying about her Disney preferences in the impromptu Dumbo routine above) why, if we have jerked beef, we don’t have choked chicken? This devolved into an idea to open combo gas-station and fast food joint, like those that have been popping up over the last few years: a combo Kum-n-Go/Alexi’s Jerked Beef & Choked Chicken BBQ. Just to see how quickly it would go out of business….

She then had an odd observation. She’s been getting into reading fan-fiction (mostly Trigun and Fatal Frame-related stuff) and has noted that there is a good amount of male-on-male slash-fiction (aka m\m) with varying degrees of slashiness. The odd thing is most of it is written by women.

OK. So my understanding is that while men overall seem to be enthusiastic about lesbian pron, women aren’t that into gay pron (even the ones who are into pron in genital….. errr, general). Meanwhile, women will churn out gay fiction (pron to semi-pron) until the cows come home (or in this case, steers), while men write straight…..

Am I missing something? I mean other than half my brain and one more cup of coffee…?

After some other rambly oddments about Jack Sparrow, Blake’s 7 and the comic relief loving rag on Dr. Who, the evening devolved into making fun of cat butts. It was then that Mrs Sivana decided I needed to go to bed…..

All in all, that was probably the best day I’ve had in some time.

Until Saturday. But that, my fiends, is a tale best left untold.

At least until the statute of limitations is up.....

2006-07-11T21:17:00.000-07:00

And now for something completely similar
The lark.

It's been a good long while since I've posted here, for a number of reasons: laziness, boredom, a number illnesses (the latest of which was shingles) and the fact that it's recently come to my attention that I'm nuts.

As in panic attack, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder nuts.

But enough of the humour. If I may get serious for a moment, I'd like to point your attention to this picture:

I grabbed it off some blog I wandered across and after seeing Mrs. Sivana's stunned look upon viewing it for the first time, knew that I had to share it with you, my adoring public.

Tomorrow I shall try to backtrack to the originating blog in an attempt to give appropriate credit.

I only hope this pair entered the costume contest (you know there had to have been one) and won.

2006-07-11T21:13:00.000-07:00

Yaaawwwwnnnnn!!!
Stretches.
Scratches.
Blinks eyes a number of times.
Clears throat and rumbles groggily "Did I miss anything?"
Proceeds to fall back to sleep.

2005-12-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

What Do You Get a Balrog for Christmas
(when he already has a tomb)?

I had the pleasure of finally hearing Meco's Christmas with the Stars a couple nights ago and the gears are already spinning in me 'ead. The Lord of the Rings actors need to get together and remake this, converting the Star Wars references into Middle-Earth ones. And as a special bonus, they need to include a hidden track at the end: Ian McKellen doing a recitation of The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins, over the music from Leonard Nimoy's version BUT with Shatnerized (i.e. spoken word) vocals.

For me, the whole gag would be for them to do it on the sly, w/o Peter Jackson's knowledge, and then present the first copy to him for next Christmas.

"But then, why should anyone listen to me, or should I speak, since I know nothing?"

2005-12-12T16:02:00.000-08:00

I smell a lawsuit
(either that or I stepped in something...)

From the commercials for Rumor Has It..., I was beginning to think it was based of the premise of "What if the Graduate was a true story only presented as fiction?". Well, the plot outline on IMDB confirms my suspicions. And I, for one, am OUTRAGED!!

This is an obvious and total rip-off of the nigh-legendary film The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension, the premise of which is....

S
P
O
I
L
E
R

S
P
A
C
E
!
!

"What if Orson Welle's 'War of the Worlds' was a true story only presented as fiction?"!!!!

Warner Bro.s, Rob Reiner and Ted Griffin should be ashamed of themselves and have their collective pants sued off. I'll let Jennifer Aniston keep her pants, only 'cause she's already been having photographer issues and what with Brad's carousing... And, well, it's the holidays.

I know I have a problem with acting overly magnanimous this time of year; I really ought to seek treatment for it.

2005-12-02T09:47:00.000-08:00

The Blair Brown Project

3 film students travel to the wilds of Hollywood to make a documentary on why the Hell The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd hasn't been released on DVD and promptly disappear. Their film is later found under the corner of a Wahoo's Fish Tacos on Wilshire Blvd...

2005-12-02T09:44:00.000-08:00

There's booze in the bunker?!

I think Charlie and Ecko need to sit down and have a long talk with Libby and Ana Lucia...

2005-11-22T12:08:00.000-08:00

Is it at all odd that I introduced myself to two of my favorite bands (see the links in the side-bar) at the same time?

On a whim, I decided to check out this show and I had no idea who any of them were....

Of course, Mellowdramatic Wallflowers has gone through some changes (Dang you, Jakob Dylan!!) and is now known as Admiral Twin.

2005-11-22T11:49:00.000-08:00

Connection between the Time Trust and Infinite Crisis?

Yeah, I know... the german is execrable. It's been over 20 years since my classes and through disuse I was forced to make use of Babelfish. Maybe I'll clean it up for a reposting...

I made this pic using the Hetemeel site, which also has a cool dictionary set-up that I must make use of....

2005-11-22T10:34:00.000-08:00

The definition of too much time on your hands

A Night at the Roddenberry
and the sequel:
A Night at the Hothberry

2005-11-21T14:23:00.000-08:00

Freebirrrddddd!!!

I must be insane. After finally being on some new allergy meds for all of a week, I thought I was all better (thankee, Allegra D!). I am not. But I am on my way.

Luckily I was well enough to go out this past Friday evening with Mrs Sivana for a night on the town. We were just going to do dinner and catch Admiral Tiwn (finally!) @ Crow Creek Tavern, but an invite turned up earlier in the week for a art show by Neil Cluck and it also opened Friday. Being the patrons of the arts we are, we decided to add it to our itinerary for the evening.

Neil's show is being held @ , a fancy salon here in Tulsa and will be there through December, I believe. There were some hoity-toity types there drinking their wine and perrier, discussing nothing. All we could do was meander through the area, discussing between us what we liked about his work and which we liked best and then spoke with Neil for a bit. While I really like his centerpiece/sculpture entitled "Lighthouse", we have absolutely no-where to put it. Mrs Sivana fell for one of his "Iris" pieces and we did purchase it and thereby became Neil's first sale of the show. (Yay, us!) And I can confirm that French cuisine (other than pastry) sucks! My lord, but Perrier is abhorrant!! Rich folk are weird. I earlier found that I cannot stand brie (tastes the way moldy sweat-sox smell), but I rather like goat-cheese... Go figure.

After the show we had a bit to eat and made our way to Crow Creek Tavern. The bartenders were friendly, the patrons were varied and they had a food menu! Huzzah for next time. We'll be able to combine our chowin' and our boozin'.

AT played a number of sets. Mostly covers, unfortunately. I know they gotta give the people what they want (saayyyy.... that would be a great title for a song!), but I love their music and wanted to hear their songs. Ah, well. I understand their cover to original ratio is about 50/50 at Arnie's, so maybe next time.

A few further notes about the bar:
Be careful when sitting at the bar. You could get a papercut from the flying boxes of beer (empty).
They will set you up with a tab.
No Coke, Pepsi.
Modelo Negro on tap.

I must have screwed up my face when the bartender (Alan, I think) asked me if I was ready for another drink. "Hey", he said, "it's not like I'm trying to sell you a car". A couple beats later he asks "What would it take to get you into a gin and tonic?" and I muttered to my wife "A funnel", which she found hilarious. While it was funny, "funnel" was a fall-back. I was trying to come up with "shoe-horn" and went blank.

2005-11-17T13:03:00.000-08:00

Could this just be the ginchiest quote ever?

“Give me an underground laboratory, half a dozen atom-smashers, and a girl in a diaphanous veil waiting to be turned into a chimpanzee, and I care not who writes the nation's laws.” S. J. Perelman

I think I need this as a t-shirt and it is my new sig.

I just started Men of Tomorrow by Gerard Jones yesterday and thought I should see if he has a site. It's a work in progress, but it does link to Micheal Chabon's site. And guess who has the above quote on his homepage? With a Tesla pic right above it!!

And Perelman wrote(among other things) Horse Feathers and Monkey Business!!!!
Now I must search out his other writings.....

2005-11-15T14:30:00.000-08:00

Note to Mrs Sivana:
No! We already buy too much litter as it is.

2005-11-10T11:37:00.000-08:00

This week's bounty!

Yeah, I've been slacking on noting my gains (ill-gotten or otherwise), but I had to make a special note about yesterday's stuph.

INFINITE CRISIS 2
What is it about heroes with white sidewalls? Is Mr Fantastic next?!

SON OF VULCAN 6

JLA 122

SHOWCASE PRESENTS: JONAH HEX VOL. 1
I stayed up waaayyyy too late last nite absorbing less than half of this over 500 page tome(!). It flippin' rocks!! I'm already waiting for volume 2. At one point a Hex movie was in the works, but I think a tv series, either syndicated or on cable, would much better suit Jonah and his tales. In addition to the new ongoing Hex series, there are a couple places you can find some right proper Jonah Hex fan-fic. Tell 'em Alexi sent yuh.

Also...
Am I the only one that thinks House of Flying Daggers would be an excellent name for a Japanese steak house? (I know.... HoFD is from China, but you don't get a lot of flashy knife wielding @ Chinese restaurants (unless Mongolian barbecue is involved).

2005-11-07T18:24:00.000-08:00

Alexi's Sonic Bombardment
aka my music collection

While doing a search on Ghost of an American Airman, I stumbled across asite I had once used and forgotten about, Rate Your Music. While this site allows you to review and rate songs, artists and albums (hence the name), it also lets you post a listing of your collection, which I find handy if I happen to be eBaying or such and can't remember if I actually have a certain album before I purchase it.

Yeah.... I actually have enough cds and albums that I occasionally lose track of what i have and in what format. And here it is, sadly out of date.

2005-11-05T13:52:00.000-08:00

I may have stumbled into a new career...

I was incredibly surprised to find a message from Michael Gulezian lurking amongst my emails this morning. It never occurred to me that one could backtrack links from other sites. If you'll take a perusal down the right side of this blog, you'll find I've one to his site.

What's more surprising is that he mentioned he's to be in Tulsa this next week for a closed (members only, daggnabbit!) conference.

Being the greedy little bastich I am, I suggested my trying to find him a spot to perform during his stay. He said sure!!!

I sent him a list of 5 or 6 coffee shops in the area that may just have open spots on a short notice and volunteered to take my cds so the bookers/owners can give him a listen.

Here's hoping I get to see him this next week and that I can get a gig lined up for him when he passes thru Tulsa on his way to a Texas show in February.

Look at me, Ma!!! I'm a booking agent!!

2005-11-02T09:09:00.000-08:00

Halloween on the Bookmobile

Other than it being more than a couple years since I've driven the monster, it wasn't as scary as one might think...

Yesterday, however....

At the end of our last stop, an elderly lady, toothless and in her nightgown, came up wanting her "chiliburgers with cheese". We had difficulty convincing her we only had books and no food. That was pretty much when we knew it was time to leave.

In other news, my allergy test results are back! I am allergic to smut and hemp....

Is it any wonder I'm a conservative? If I can't party, ain't no-one gonna party!!

2005-10-24T18:15:00.000-07:00

Just "If"ing

If I ever opened a audio/video duplication service, I'd have to name it Euripides.

2005-10-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Weirdest odor combination ever

While returning to my car after getting fitted for a heart monitor (don't ask.... PLEASE don't ask....), I noticed probably the oddest smell I ever smelled in the parking lot. It seemed to be an even mix of pipe tobacco smoke and those odd pink tablets the dentist gives kids to chew to show plaque.

And it wasn't bad... THAT was the weird part.

I haven't smelled those chewable tablets (or thought of them) in years, but I knew exactly what it was.

2005-10-24T18:06:00.000-07:00

Now that's a surprise
The Absorbascon directed me to
*shudder*
this little quiz....

the Prankster

(47% dark, 23% spontaneous, 36% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN | COMPLEX | LIGHT

Your humor has an intellectual, even conceptual slant to it. You're not pretentious, but you're not into what some would call 'low humor' either. You'll laugh at a good dirty joke, but you definitely prefer something clever to something moist.

You probably like well-thought-out pranks and/or spoofs and it's highly likely you've tried one of these things yourself. In a lot of ways, yours is the most entertaining type of humor because it's smart without being mean-spirited.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Conan O'Brian - Ashton Kutcher

The 3-Variable Funny Test!
- it rules -

If you're interested, try my latest: The Terrorism Test

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 51% on darkness

You scored higher than 4% on spontaneity

You scored higher than 56% on vulgarity

Link: The 3 Variable Funny Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

2005-10-19T17:54:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmmm....... Sonic......

If yer gonna go fast food, you can do a lot worse than Sonic.

Their Santa Fe Grilled Chicken Salads are simply amazing with the fat-free Italian dressing. I could have that and a lemon slush for at least 5 meals a week.
The breakfast burrito is a guilty pleasure and the coffee blended float a not-so-guilty pleasure.

If you do order a coffee blended float, just make sure to order a blended float so they have to ask you what kind and verify that yes, you do want coffee and no you aren't (completely) out of your gourd.

2005-10-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

Librarians are Weird
The Bellydancing Librarian
The Modified Librarian

and on an entirely unrelated note:
Where can I get one of these?

2005-10-18T07:36:00.000-07:00

"Hello, my name is Alexi. I am a liar."

This whole "pants on fire" thing is just so not working out for me. Is there anyway it could be changed to "tongue on fire"? That might keep me in check.

As some of you know I work for a library system. I'm supposed to be dispensing information.

Sometimes, however..... Sometimes not-so-much-so.

Fellow came in yesterday afternoon returning a few dvds and checking out disc 3 of the Band of Brothers miniseries. I told him that some time a go a kid came in wanting to see it 'cause she thought it was a documentary on Hanson.

His flustered response was something along the lines of "But... *sputter*... What...?!".

I merely shrugged, shook my head and replied "I know... I know..." and let him wander off. Poor guy.

I must be stopped.

2005-09-27T15:44:00.000-07:00

Another Commercial

Open on an island beach with a few cast members of Lost.

Sayid's working on the guts of a radio. Charlie's at the mike. Hurley is hovering over them.

A spark and the radio statics to life.

Charlie barks into the mike "Can anyone hear me? We're survivors of Oceanic blahdeblah....".

A voice crackles over the radio "Could you repeat that?"

Charlie and Hurley woop and both talk into the mike at once.

The voice says "Hunh. Sorry, but I can't help you with that. But I do have some good news."

Charlie, desperately cries "What's that?!"

"I saved a lot of money on car insurance by switching to Geico Direct."

Sayid looks stunned. Charlie glowers at the mike in his hand and Hurley says "That sucks, dude".

fade to black.

2005-09-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

Movie Pitch
First, read Norton I: Emperor of the United States by Wm. Drury. There's at least half the story right there.... The true story of Emperor Norton, which may be stranger than the myths that have cropped up around him.

Now we need two directors, one to direct the fantasy/myth part of the story and one to do the bio-pic. Each will direct and edit their own mini-movie, using the same cast, but with no interaction between the crews. That way the color schemes, filming styles, etc will be completely different. Then either a third director or a master editor will cut the two films together and voila!!! Instant classic.

I'm thinking Ridley Scott and Jean-Pierre Jeunet, but I'm open to other suggestions....

2005-09-21T16:42:00.000-07:00

Now, that's a papercut you really don't want to get...

And believe me, I know a thing or three about papercuts. I used to work for an engineering company which made blueline reproduction drawings with ammonia.

It gave a bigger jolt than any coffee I've ingested (tho' not as pleasant).

Investigation Continues Into Missing Guns At A Claremore Gun Museum
Unfortunately, this story is a revision of an earlier one which in addition to the mention of 6000 unaccounted-for/missing/stolen guns, noted that a cannon(!) is also missing....

A cannon!!! How do you get that out the door?!! It's not like you gonna be able to stick it down your pants and say "Why yes, it is a banana".....

2005-09-21T10:13:00.000-07:00

Missed Opportunity I
There is an odd bit of stretch in Tulsa, on 15th St, between Peoria and Lewis known as Cherry Street.

Once upon a time there was a business to go with this sign. By the time I started ratting around town, the building was gone.

Sadly, the sign is now also lost. An Atomic Burrito (also since gone) was built on the spot and the base of the sign was re-used for their signage.

Some-one should have bought the site and built a nightclub/eatery, keeping the Sur-Kil logo. I'da gone there. Bet it would have been kicking, too...

Alas, another missed opportunity.

BTW: I took this picture, which can also been seen @ Tom Baddley's Lost Tulsa photoblog

2005-09-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

Retcon Supervillain Without a Cause
When someone dares you to eat the worm......

Don't.

Just don't.

09-21-05 note:
Yes, this is a real ticket.
Yes, it was given to me.

I may get around to explaining it one day.

2005-09-19T16:10:00.000-07:00

Vulcan Without a Cause
Yeah, I know....
Spock flippin' the bird...
Spock in jeans and black tee....

But what really gets me is the cigarette in his other hand.

Oh, by the way, the guys at Cow Creek Films are in production on episode three of ST: the New Voyages. Which where this behind-the-scenes shot is from.

2005-09-17T14:45:00.000-07:00

This week's booty
ACTION COMICS #831
JLA #118
This, plus the previous Omac makes me think that comics need to recalled and retrofitted with an "OS" handle.
THE RANN/THANAGAR WAR #5 (OF 6)
Wherein a "Khan" moment occurs.
(Wait... that doesn't quite catch the mood..... Let me try that again *ahem*)
Wherein a "Khaaaaaaannnnnnnnn!!!!!!" moment occurs.
(There. That's much better.)

...and I finally got my mitts on a reprint of JSA CLASSIFIED #2 and Serenity #3!!

Huzzah!!! And the kingdom rejoiced.....

2005-09-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

Last Week's Booty
Sorry for the delay in letting you know what I got my mitts on....
The wait to find out what I deem worthy of my moolah must have been horrific....

Lost: Season One
Flogging Molly: Within a Mile of Home
which contains a rather jaunty pirate tune: The Seven Deadly Sins
SEVEN SOLDIERS: GUARDIAN #4 (OF 4)
SON OF VULCAN #4 (OF 6)
SUPERMAN/SHAZAM: FIRST THUNDER #1 (OF 4)
Damn you Judd Winnick for ruining my record of disdain for your work!
VILLAINS UNITED #5 (OF 6)
What if Mockingbird was someone from outside the DCU?.......

No Serenity #3 (of 3) , the shop was out....
Grr. Argh.

2005-09-12T16:46:00.000-07:00

In the Beginning....
There was the Word
And the Word was with God
And the Word was Stay.

2005-09-09T11:49:00.000-07:00

Ma-in-Law

Being married, I have a mother-in-law. Kinda happens that way, I suppose, but it makes me wonder about mother-in-law jokes. They seem to have fallen by the wayside over the years, but there are a ton of 'em. And I never understood their popularity.

And quite often the stereotype doesn't come close to fitting my relationship with my ma-in-law. While her politics (when they make sense at all) are often divergent (if not out-right opposed) to mine, we get along fairly well. The only time we come into conflict is when she drives Mrs Sivana up the wall, which seems to be a hobby with her.

The closest I've actually come to making a mother-in-law joke was a week or so ago, when she asked me to lock the door behind her as she left. Actually, I believe the phrase was "lock me out"... She then balked, remembering she had a key and started to dig for it.

I couldn't help it. I mean she did set me up; it would almost have been an insult if I hadn't followed up....

"No, no. That's OK.... I'll do it. It's not everyday a fellow's allowed to lock out his mother-in-law".

She grinned widely.

It didn't get a big a laugh from her (or from my wife) as the time she was leaving and I had to remind her I had a bucket of shit for her*....

As a side note/question, while MiL jokes are numerous, I don't recall there being many son-in-law jokes. And those that do exist are usually told by fathers, not mothers, grousing about them. In daughter-in-law jokes are even rarer. Why is that?

(*I should probably explain that she has a garden and we have cats. You can do the math.)

2005-09-09T11:35:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one...
who thinks Ring of Fire should be used in Preperation H commercials?

2005-09-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

2005-09-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

Calling down curses
I've been a baaaaad boy......

Whilst desperately trying to get ahold of Mrs Sivana (I can't recall why... something to do with Narnia or goat cheese) on my cell-phone, I couldn't get thru. She didn't pick on the house line, the family line or her cell... She had mused on going to see her Mema & mother in Glenpool, so I tried their number, to no avail. No-one was home. I bemoaned this fact aloud with "How am I supposed to get brain cancer if no-one answers the phone?!"

For some reason, when I finally caught up with my wife, she wasn't amused....

2005-09-07T13:01:00.000-07:00

Another Band Name
(Feel free to use....)

Andrew Ridgley and the Sucking Chest Wounds

Comic Thoughts

Am I the only one who'd like to see an adventure featuring Mr. Miracle 0 (aka Thaddeus Brown)? I could easily see one set during WWII with GA characters, but I think I'd prefer a Cold War era Times Past tale.... Maybe as an IMF-style pastiche w/ gov't-sponsered heroes working on the QT, like Iron Munro and Phantom Lady...

I'd also like to see Vigilante and Hawkman meet up as a framing device for another Times Past tale featuring Vig when he was stuck in the Old West, teaming up with one of Hawkman's previous incarnations, Nighthawk and others (timeline permitting, of course). It could be used to connect Greg (Vigilante) Sa(u)nders to Speed Saunders and both Hawkgirls I and II not as mere blood relations, but with Greg as an ancestor!! (Shades of "I'm my own grandpa"!!)

2005-09-07T10:50:00.000-07:00

Comics in the Library?!

Back in ye olde days of comics, when Gaines was still running his All-American line and before starting EC, comics at teast pretended to be educational. Quite often, Gaines would slip in 2 or 3 page bios of historical personages. As I recall, the serial was titled Wonder Women of History in both his Sensation and Wonder Woman comics. Bios of famous fliers would often appear along with Hop Harrigan stories.

Heck, he even published full comics of bios (along with Picture Stories from the Bible).

I'm wondering whether it might be a good idea to gather these short bios into a juvi/young adult readers advisory book/folder for when the kids come up and need to write a paper on someone, but have no klew as to who they might find interesting.

2005-09-02T12:07:00.000-07:00

Infinite Crisis
thoughts, musings and wishes

It seems that after the Crisis du jour is over all of DC's books are going to jump forward a year and there will be major shakeups w/in them: a number of deaths, a number of new characters and a number of people filling the shoes of other characters (possibly due to the aforementioned deaths, retirement or disappearances). I don't want to spoil anything for anyone who's had the intestinal fortitude to avoid the rumours and spoilers (wish I could, but I'm weak.... must be why I'm a retcon supervillain rather than a retcon superhero). I'm just looking forward to 52, which will fill in the gap of that missing year.

For those that want to know the thoughts of other fans (some spoilerific), I'd suggest checking out Geoff Johns' message board.

Non-spoiler thoughts:
I think Mockingbird (the secretive person supplying aide and info to the Secret Six in Villains United) is the Red Hood. In addition the Red Hood may well not be Jason Todd (aka Robin II). I'm thinking Ra's al Ghul (who was revealed to be alive in a time-travel story in a recent Teen Titans arc) is either posing as Jason or his boss. Does anyone truly think Ra's would allow VU's Society go forward w/o having his fingers in the pie, assuming he is alive? Methinks Talia is a double-agent....

I don't think DC would actually kill Oliver Queen (Green Arrow) again so soon after reviving him, but.... as his son Connor is also using the ID, it might be interesting to have Ollie disappear for a while and have Arsenal (Roy Harper, ex-Speedy) buy it during the Crisis. We do have a new Speedy (Mia Dearden)hanging with the Titans and how many bow-slingers does DC need, anyway?
But I'd like to see Ollie and Roy disappear for one reason only: to allow DC to do a variation on the Baby Cart Assassin with Connor caring for Roy's daughter Lian.

2005-08-30T10:32:00.000-07:00

Going thru my musical archives, I noticed my Zappa holdings have dwindled down to 3 cds.... I am still (and probably always will be) a fan of his work, but the older I get, the less I like the lyrics; they get in the way of the music. Now I'm down to The Yellow Shark, Shut Up N'Play Yer Guitar and the recently purchased and aforementioned Boulez Conducts Zappa: The Perfect Stranger.

Y'know, I'da voted for him if he had run for office. Yes, you heard that right and yes I am a conservative. I'll leave you to work it out. He passed too soon.

I loved his autobiography and ought to purchase my own copy. Finding out that he grew up with Captain Beefheart, and a relative of Zappa's was responsible for Van Vliet choosing his musical ID floored me. I still find his claim of never having used drugs a little much to swallow. Not unlike the 6 potassium pills I take a day....

So, does humor belong in music? Not for me. Not with Zappa, anyway...

And a not-too-terribly-related question: Why paint cats?
Might as well ask why librarians blog....

A follow-up note about Captain Beefheart: I've finally got confirmation on something I thought I saw many moons ago!! He was the musical guest on some rerun or other of SNL. I swear I heard someone in the audience cursing them out at the end of the performance and I was right!!! Very odd to find out who it was that was doing the cursing.

Now the follow-up wonderment is: Why wasn't the cursing editted out of the rerun?

Curious...

2005-08-30T10:20:00.000-07:00

re: Enemy Ace
As some of yez may be non-geeks, here is a bio of this excellent character, from someone who should know, The Time Trust.

2005-08-29T18:03:00.000-07:00

More birthday booty
(cash is good!)

Baron Hans Von Hammer aka Enemy Ace!!

2005-08-29T17:59:00.000-07:00

Horrible book titles (the sequel)
Homeschooling for Dummies
I mean....
Really.....
There's nothing I can say...

2005-08-25T18:25:00.000-07:00

2005-08-25T15:19:00.000-07:00

An excellent read
Hiding the elephant : how magicians invented the impossible and learned to disappear by Jim Steinmeyer

While it does give away a few tricks, it is mostly a history of stage magic, using those tricks to explain the developments of the craft and how stage magic changed over time.

Odd to find out that at least a few magicians blamed the death of classic stage magic on the Great War....

Speaking of such, when is The Magician coming out on dvd?! Kolchak, McMillan & Wife and McCloud are all scheduled for release.... I want my Bill Bixby!!!

Hurmph....

2005-08-25T13:45:00.000-07:00

This weak's booty....

Why weak? 'Cause I got short-changed on JSA CLASSIFIED #2
Grr... Argh.... Hopefully it'll show up in next week's re-order...

Other than that:
DAY OF VENGEANCE #5 (OF 6)
THE OMAC PROJECT #5 (OF 6)
where-in all Holy Hell is breaking loose. Film @ 11....

2005-08-24T12:51:00.000-07:00

Pranks and Stoopid Things I've said
(a cross-over post(!))

Pick yer pizzen: Is it a prank? Is it stoopid? Is it a stoopid prank?
Ida know.....

More than a few years ago, when I was still employed by the afore-mentioned architecture and engineering firm (see: Digging for Lint), it became something of a tradition that three of us there (Jeff, David and myself) would have a small birthday celebration, going out to dinner and some other activity. It was sadly short-lived and only lasted a couple years before the group disintigrated.... I really don't know why.

However, on the evening in question, we chose to see Prophecy. Honestly, the only thing going for it is Christopher Walken playing an angel gone bad..... Anyway, this didn't involve the movie, but rather a trailer before the film: some Mel Gibson retro flick., I believe... maybe the one where he was frozen and woke up in current times.... maybe not.

An old wood-paneled car drove across the screen and in the dark I noted: "My dad had a woodie once".
Jeff started laughing. David nearly choked on his popcorn and spat it out.
I decided to be indignant at their response and built upon the joke: "He did, too! He showed me pictures of it". And then they really lost it.
As did the fellow in front of us, who happened to hear me. I only hope he told someone else about it later...

When I later told Mrs Sivana (then my intended), she responded "He had to have one at least twice!!"

Did I happen to mention I have a younger brother, known to various and sundry as Evil?
Yes, I am Evil's elder brother....

2005-08-24T11:47:00.000-07:00

Stoopid things I've said pt I

First, a short note on the spelling:
'Stupid' is just plain ignorance, while 'stoopid' is (to quote my friend Geoff) "stooping from a level of intelligence" to make an ignorant statement on purpose.

1) This last week, whilst preparing for our onslaught of Glenpool as a late celebration of my birthday w/ Mrs Sivana's Mom & Me-Ma, a thought came to mind in relation to the recent revelation that homegrown meth (aka redneck crack) is being replaced by lower quality (Whaa?! Is such a thing possible?!), imported 'mexican ice'.

Mrs Sivana said we needed orange juice and I said "Have you heard of redneck screwdrivers?"
Mrs S: "What's that?"
me: "Orange Crush and beer".

Her mother, when told this, may have improved the gag by changing it to "Tang and beer".

2) Later, her mother thought it would be amusing to look through her collection of vinyl she's collected over the years. It is a good-sized collection ranging across a number of styles: jazz, disco, hard rock, classic rock and country. Ambrosia, Kansas, Asia, Perry Como(?), George Harrison....

When she got to George Harrison, I piped up "I heard he used to play with a group", which resulted in small smiles and rolling of eyes. But that was just the set-up.
I followed with (please don't hate me, Geoff) "Didn't he used to be in Wings?"

I thought it was just an amusing quip, but Mrs Sivana and her mom would have fallen over, if they hadn't already been sitting on the floor.

Guess it just goes to show that one man's meat is another man's boca burger....

2005-08-24T11:23:00.000-07:00

The Internet = Alice's Restaurant?

Had an odd question cross my mind a few minutes ago...
There are a number of exchange rates caculators on the web.... I wonder if I can find a converter across dates, rather than locations?

And here it is:
Inflation Calculator

Who'da thunk?

2005-08-18T13:46:00.000-07:00

This week's booty (special edition)

SEVEN SOLDIERS: KLARION THE WITCH BOY #3 (OF 4)
Fish - Acoustic Sessions Live at the Farm
Boulez Conducts Zappa: The Perfect Stranger

And the birthday loot!
Sid Meier's Pirates!: Live the Life
Gameboy Advances SP with Classic NES Series The Legend of Zelda

More to come.....

2005-08-13T12:11:00.000-07:00

I've got two birthdays....
one for each of me.

My meat-space birthday is coming up on August 17th.

As an odd coincidence, Alexi Sivana's birthday is August 12th...
Why? Well, while Alexi is a combination of two out-of-continuity characters, plus one current DC character, he is also based on an actual person, one who is thought to have died, but there appears to be some suspicion that his sister may not have been the only one who escaped death. And he just happened to be born on that day.

Any guesses?
Or am I being to obvious?

2005-08-11T12:56:00.000-07:00

Horrible (but appropriate) Book Titles
Paddy Whacked which is about Irish gangsters.

I was all set to be offended by the stereotyping, but considering the subject matter.... what else could you call it?

2005-08-11T12:29:00.000-07:00

Jim Mathus and his Knockdown Society =
Capt. Beefheart and his Magic Band with a slight adjustment of meds.

Whether that's a good thing or not I will leave up to you.

I'm gonna be breaking out my Beefheart discs tonite. All I'm sayin'.

2005-08-11T08:00:00.000-07:00

Earworm
Riahanna - Pon de Replay
(make it stoooooppppppppp!!!!)

2005-08-09T09:50:00.000-07:00

Earworm
Alternate Ending Montage (Kip's Wedding Song)- Napoleon Dynamite ST
(it is all Mrs Sivana's fault!! She's the one who keeps playing it every time I'm in the SUVanaMobile....)

Friday's Moosikal Booty
(thanks to a dead battery which force Mrs Sivana to pick my sad ass up in the afore-mentioned SUVanaMobile)
The Tubes - The Tubes
Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Murder Ballads
Jim Mathus and his Knockdown Society - National Anticeptic

2005-08-05T10:36:00.000-07:00

Earworm (thanks, Karl...)
Dumb Things - Paul Kelly

speaking of such things, do you have a default song that goes thru your head or that you hum while doing mundane tasks and you don't have an earworm or are being otherwise influenced?

I do: Animaniacs, with Pinky & the Brain and Hall of the Mountain King tying for a distant second.

2005-08-04T13:02:00.000-07:00

Another prank

You know how phone pranks have become a rage.... Crank Yankers, Roy D. Mercer, etc.?

Well, I must admit to having pulled a few myself. The best being on the radio. I was not a deejay (@ the time, but previously....), nor was the joke aimed at the station, but rather to a select group of listeners who heard my odd tale....

As I recall, Z104.5 (the Edge!) morning crew were discussing Lent and were having people call in about what they were giving up for Lent.

Somehow, I must have misheard them and mistakenly called them with a story about lint:

dj:"No, no. We asked for stories about Lent".

me:"Oh. I'm sorry.... I thought you said lint... [sigh] Oh, well...".

dj:"Errrr..... OK. What's your story?"

me:"Well, I was working for this architecture and engineering firm downtown... back before I got caught up in the latest layoffs, that is... and I was helping out the fifth-floor mail-room, delivering to the bosses on the first floor.
I didn't even think to knock, 'cause they were all supposed to be gone in some meeting. As I walked to his desk, I heard this humming and moaning coming from the chair, which was turned to the back wall".

dj:"Uh oh..."

me:"Tell me about it. Curiosity got the best of me and I quietly edged to the desk. I could see one of the bosses hunched down in his chair with his shirt pulled up".

dj:"What?"

me:"Yeah. And he had his finger stuck in his belly-button, wiggling it around, while he was moaning. I just sat the mail on his desk and slowly backed out of his office. I asked the others if they'd ever seen anything odd in his office and they just kinda got quiet and looked at each other before the manager said 'Other than digging for lint, no'. And the others kinda snickered at that".

dj:"Where was this?"

me:"Sorry. I've got friends that still work there and there could be repercussions if I named names. I just had a story about lint and thought this was my one chance to tell it".

The only parts of that story that are true are that there was (and may still be) an architecture and engineering firm downtown with a fifth-floor mail-room and bosses on the first floor and they had recently had layoffs (which I did get caught in). However, I knew that a good number of the engineers listened to the Edge and that I had given them enough info that they would know I was talking about something involving their firm.

I came up with the entire story during the 20 minute drive to work and somehow I just knew that the radio station would air it and be my unwitting accomplices. I knew it in the deepest, darkest pit of what passes for a heart. All I needed was a little extra pressure on the gas pedal to give me the time to make the call before I clocked in.

About an hour later I got a call from one of my friends still with the firm and he said "You shouldn't be allowed phone privileges!" It seems the office was abuzz with the story and they were trying to figure out not only who the story was about, but who had told the story! Jeff didn't rat me out and left the rest of the employees to try to find out which boss was the kinky one.

Which, if you think about it, wouldn't have worked. We all know that all bosses have skeletons in their closet. Sometimes dolled up in a frilly dress....

2005-08-03T15:39:00.000-07:00

This week's booty
JSA 76 ("I'm Holt.... Micahel Holt".)
Justice 01 (but with the villains cover.... It's much better)
Justice League Unlimited 12 (gimme a break... Jay Garrick in an animated comic? couldn't pass it up)
Omac Project 4
Return of Donna Troy 3
Son of Vulcan 3
Serenity 2 (Boooook!!!!)

2005-08-03T13:13:00.000-07:00

Somebody needs a good pranking

I love a good prank, whether I'm on the giving or receiving end. But it must be a good prank. Which leads to the question, what is a good prank?

My definition:
creative
no distruction or injury
confusion is a big plus
not being able to identify the source is nice (which forces the prankster to come forward if they want to get credit)

And the biggy, one which I've rarely been able to pull off, the subject shouldn't realize they've been pranked. It must seem as if God, fate, nature, quantum mechanics or Schroedinger's cat (who's name was Aus Zeilensprung, not that anyone cares) has conspired against them to leave them with an odd story to tell.

The first which comes to mind (Only 'cause I'm hungry):

A co-worker of mine, while I was working in the archives of a hospital, absolutely loved to have a couple strawberry PopTarts during her 10 o'clock break. She also hated brown sugar cinnamon PopTarts. Out of the goodness (?) of my heart (?!) and her joy, I got her an unopened 12-pack of strawberry PopTarts. Sadly, there must have been a problem at the factory, for not a single strawberry PopTart was in the package.... They were all brown sugar cinnamon. Darn. I wonder how that could have happened?

Of course, it helps being able to wander over to the publishing dept, open the bottom of the box, dump out the contents, replace them with brown sugar cinnamon PopTarts and reseal the box with publishing's hot glue-goop.

Other than that, I was as shocked as anyone when the box didn't have her Tarts of preference....

2005-08-01T15:13:00.000-07:00

Last week's Booty

No comics.... Didn't have the time to stop by the shop.

But!! Young Einstien is finally out on dvd and I picked it up for $10 @ BestBuy.

And I lucked out and found The Rocketeer, which is out of print, @ the local Vintage Stock. Makes for a great double-feature with Sky Captain.

2005-07-26T17:01:00.000-07:00

And another thing!!!
(aka further rants involving the library....)

OK..... So there's this author Nora Roberts. For some ungodly reason she thinks it's a good idea to start writing under a pseudonym: J.D. Robb. Cataloging and shelving chaos ensues.....

Then she decides to note on the books that they are "Nora Roberts writing as J.D. Robb", which only adds to the confusion and labeling of paperbacks....

Now I see at least one with a co-author credit of "Nora Roberts and J.D. Robb"!!! Gaahhhhh!!!!

Multiple personality issues aside, there's no reason for it other to cause libraries, bookstores and the fans themselves problems.

I'm just waiting for one to come out credited as "J.D. Robb writing as Nora Roberts".... Better yet, howzabout "J.D. Robb and Richard Bachman"?

2005-07-26T12:53:00.000-07:00

I should work for an advertising firm

More ideas fomenting (or should that be fermenting?) in me 'ead.... As an example, I posted the following on the Admiral Twin msg board back on 06/08/05:

You! Sandwich-lover!

Mrs Sivana was sorting through the daily onslaught of mail we now get since we've moved the Fortress of Attitude into its permanent location (translation: since we bought a house) and from behind the pile, I hear her voice pipe up in a Val Kilmer-as-Doc Holliday drawl: "You! Sandwich Lover!"

The apparent non-sequitur slapped me upside the ganglia, leaving me stunned until she explained. Seems we got an advert addressed to "Sandwich lover at".... . Once I was up to speed (considering our mutual admiration for TOMBSTONE), I went from stunned to highly amused and wouldn't leave her alone about her comedic leap in logic.

Now I am left with this:
A deep desire to see a commercial (most likely from Quiznos, considering their "We've got the subs. We are not the huns." campaign) for a buy one, get one free (aka bogo) promotion featuring a drunken Val Kilmer walking in on Matt LeBlanc and yelling "You! Sandwich lover! I've got two sandwiches, one for each of you".

sigh.......

I (re)told that story to tell you this one:

Saturday we were preparing for our invasion of OKC and I wasn't in very good shape: slight incoherence and general aches & pains. Even my obligatory ingestion of caffeine didn't help. Finally, about half an hour after a doubling my intake (probably up to 4 cups by that time), the pain and fog lifted.

Oddly enough (actually not that odd to any who know me), I only noticed because an ad came to mind whole and fully-formed, while I was swiping my pits with deodorant and looked up to see Mrs Sivana's deodorant on the shelf. The ad follows:

"Hello, I'm Ian McKellan. I may be an old queen, but like anyone else, I can appreciate a clean smelling pair of pits on a woman."
Ian holds up a bottle of Secret brand deodorant and says "Remember: Keep it Secret. Keep it safe."

2005-07-22T13:04:00.000-07:00

This weeks booty:
JSA Classified 01
(which begins the unravelling of the secrets behind Power Girl's past.... errrr.... future.... Whatever...)
Day of Vengeance 04
(which has a quick recap of Det. Chimp's post-Crisis origin! Woot!)

2005-07-22T07:18:00.000-07:00

Re: band names
Some albums titles to go with the Beau Weevils:
Weevil Under the Sun
Weevil with the Blue Dress On
The Good, the Bad and the Weevil
Weevil While You Work
Weevil-a-Go-Go

2005-07-21T16:12:00.000-07:00

A few of my favorite t-shirts
some of which I actually own....
Q: How can you go wrong with a Pirate Monkey Robot shirt?
A: You can't.

Have one but need to purchase a backup copy.

Even tho I am an evil card-carrying Republican, this shirt tickles the bejeezus outta me. And now that the proceeds no longer go to moveon.org, I can buy one!!

Have yet to break down and purchase...

Both of the above shirts (and their origins can be found at the webcomic Goats.com

Because you always have to have at least one Brak shirt....

And I do.

This and the next are from Glenn Beck and fill me with an evil glee....

I really ought to buy them...

If I can't find pics online of my Tubes and RitS shirts, I guess I'll have to break out the digicam and try to do it myself....

2005-07-19T14:42:00.000-07:00

He's mad I tell you!! Maaadddddd!!!!!

I have an ongoing story I've been writing for some time, off and on (more off than on, truth to tell). It's been an experiment and it's been spread between a few sites. I'm gathering them all into one spot as a (hopefully) permanent archive, and the name of that site is Kid Eternity Archives. Yep. Another blog.

The first posting is there now and it from an online rpg and was colaberative effort between three people. My part is only right before the end and gives the origin of my version of Kid Eternity. Or should that be re-origin? Whatever....

I'm going to follow up with my Kid Eternity fan-fiction.

I'll post updates here when warrented.

2005-07-19T14:23:00.000-07:00

To quote the Pace Picante ads: "Get a rope"

Just posting a short note on further library stupidity while @ lunch (Sonic's Southwestern grilled chicken salad is amazing.... even with the fat free Italian dressing).

Yesterday, some lady came into the branch I was working all in a tizzy 'cause her daughter ruined the ending of Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Sith..... errrrr... Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. She blurted out "I can't believe she told me <censored> killed <censored> and <censored> was the Half Blood Prince!!"

People froze. Jaws dropped. Eyes glared. And she was completely oblivious to what she had done and shortly there-after stormed back out. At least five people's plans were ruined at that moment.

I was torn between glee and ire. Not for myself, mind you. I had already read the last chapter of the book just to confirm my suspicions as to who dies and who does the Prince was (I'm 1 for 2 and that's all I'm sayin').

I've finally decided on ire as she was so dense she didn't realize what she had done and I abhore ignorance. Or, even worse, she decided to ruin everyone else's good time becasuse hers had been. That's worse.

Sure..... go ahead and take someone down a peg or two..... I'm all for that, as long as they're deserving. But not the innocent bystanders. that's just wrong.

2005-07-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Wish I had a Golden Ticket.....

Sigh.....
I have got to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, but I have no idea when I'm gonna have the opportunity.
This weekend is out....
Next weekend Mrs Sivana and I are road-tripping to OKC to terrorize the masses there...
I missed Kingdom of Heaven and still haven't made it out to see Batman Begins....

On the plus side, I did get a chance to see the first part of Teddy Roosevelt: an American Lion and read Orson Scott Card's Magic Street .
Bonus!!

2005-07-14T13:41:00.000-07:00

Today's booty
Serenity 1 (of 3)
JLA 116
Rann/Thanagar War 3 (Of 6)
Seven Soldiers; Guardian 3 (of 4)

2005-07-13T12:37:00.000-07:00

Nobody loves me.....

Or at least it seems that no-one loves the blog.

Sigh.....

If I was a mole, I'd go eat worms.

That's a joke for a select few, who (for all I know) haven't even been to this blog.

2005-07-09T09:27:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one this occurs to? A phrase, short scene or somesuch will come to mind, unbidden. It's one thing to be creative while I'm writing (Heck, that's when I want to be creative), but not while I'm just going through everyday tasks or in the middle of the night.

Mrs Sivana has more than once said I should carry a small notebook with me to write them down. For her, it is mostly an issue of dealing with my trail of paper scraps that I leave trailing behind me like breadcrumbs. For me, it would be nice to actually fully note what just popped in my head, rather than ask someone else "Hey, you remember earlier (or yesterday (or last week)), when we were" [random event] "and then you said" [random response] "....? What did I say after that?"

Sigh......

So this is the first in an ongoing attempt to collect my random thoughts in one location, while going thru old notes, scraps and other ephemera.

The Island of Misfit Phrases
(First in a series of thought fragments which go no-where in a hurry)

Pop rocks and cheese doodles.... That's all I'm living for these days, man....

.... sealed with a blood-stained kiss

Q) Lose an eye?(said to someone wearing an eyepatch)
A) Nope. Found one.

Q) What the hell is he talking about? (whispered)
A) I have no bloody idea. Just smile and nod your head; maybe he'll go away. (also whispered)

Q) Would you, could you in a boat?
Would you, could you with a goat?
A) God, you're disgusting!! (shoving person away)

A serial bank-robber who only steal the lollipops....

That's not wax... It's ear-cheese for the little mouse what lives in my head.

I'm going to commit hari krishna... Shave my head, wear a ponytail and hang out in airports.

Are those my keys or am I happy to see me?

I need more hatred in my life

They found Cupid the other day, an arrow in his back.

The Lone Raver trips again!!

anxiously content

Someone runs into a convenience store wearing safety goggles and a stained labcoat and screams "Quick, man! Where are the Pop Rocks? It's an emergency!!"

The towels are not what they seem. (from a Twin Peaks/Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy x-over)

In the back (chill-out) area of a dance club, someone uses a bright orange marker to play connect the dots with the cigarette burn-holes in the carpet.

Gimme a quarter and I'll bother someone else.

(A bunch of c-level superheroes (ala Mystery Men) are sitting around a table in a bar or diner.)
A) Hey, weren't you called 'El Hombre' a few years back?
B) Yeah... but... uh... (sighs) PeeWee sent Cowboy Curtis and the King of Cartoons after me. Had to change it.
(Everyone snickers)
B) (indignant) It ain't funny!! I'm lucky he didn't send Miss Yvonne...
(Everyone shudders, one of them crosses him/herself)

A) You broke my beard! You friggin' broke my beard!!
B) (calmly) I know. I wanted to hit you where it hurts.

Thank God I'm an athiest!!

A) All these... these children!! (throws up hands in frustration)
B) You need to start hanging with people your own age.
A) (darkly) There is no-one my own age....

Q) (shocked) What the hell are you eating?
A) (brightly) Y'know... The five basic food groups: green stuff, red stuff, brown stuff, white stuff... And cheese!!

(while looking through the mail) Ah, cool! The new issue of "Guns and Panties"!!

I remember it being so hot in Arizona that when you used the facilities, you didn't pee as much as you vented steam. It'd kinda come out in this yellowish cloud af vapor... Hooooosshhhh.....

legend of a ghost bison herd roaming the mid-west (variation on the ghost ships)

Children. That's all they were, children; none appeared over twenty. With skin so pale they'd be invisible in winter's northern reaches and with coats and dresses so flowing and black they'd be as invisible in midnight's shadow. With Wizard of Oz hair: every color imaginable from black to blue, to green, to white and every hue between (and a few known only to those from the other side of the rainbow).

A) Psssttttt.... That new guy over there? He's an organ-grinder.
B) How can you tell?
A) Hairy palms....

2005-07-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

today's booty

JSA 75
Villain's Incorporated 03
Return of Donna Troy 02
Son of Vulcan 02

and the piece of resistance...
Flaming Carrot v2 03 (aka #35)

2005-07-07T11:51:00.000-07:00

I are a gubmint employee...

Usually I am able to ignore the fact that, by working for the library, I am am an employee of our esteemed government.

That's until I have to restock the photocopiers or the laser printers. For some reason (I am afraid to ask why, for I'm fearful that the answer might make sense), the reams of paper labelled "copier paper" go in the laser printers and the reams labelled "printer paper" go in the photocopier....

And it all rushes back.

2005-07-06T13:28:00.000-07:00

I'd like to thank the (burrrppp....) Academy and Alexi's Chilidogs

Recently, the lovely and gracious Mrs Sivana and I were meandering back to the lair after watching an awards show.

But this isn't about that.

As usual, the show ran long and we were on the road rather late. I was in the mood for a little smackerel of something and everything was closed other than the (in-)convenience stores. And I think I've had my allotment of microwave bricks (see: Dogs in Space) for three lifetimes.

We passed a coney shop, closed for the evening. Sigh.....

Then I got an idea. An awful idea. I got a wonderful, awful idea.

I would open an all-nite coney shop downtown. Amongst all the gin joints and cliquey nightclubs. I would open an outdoor all-nite coney shop and from 1:30 Am to 3 AM (the bars close at 2 AM 'round this way) would have a two for one special. Nay! A three for one special!!

The drunks would flock in and eat too much processed meat with greasy chili and either at home or on the way home would have a "technicolor yawn"!

If I really wanted, I could justify doing this. As a business, I'd be keeping the economy moving, paying employees and taxes. I'd be helping the wandering drunks purge the excess alcohol from their systems all that much quicker (alcohol IS a poison). And homeless animals would get a warm meal..... As long as the purging was outdoors.

But honestly, the real reason..... the one that appeals to the evil, little goth that resides my my heart.....

I'd be getting paid to make drunks puke. Something I might even considering doing for free, if money weren't an issue.

2005-07-06T12:54:00.000-07:00

Feng Shui my hairy tuccus!!!

I'm all for organizing your living space.

There's something to be said for being able to walk thru your home and not stub your toe. And for being able to find your keys.

But Feng Shui? Someone's making way too much easy money off the marks of this sad world. All they did was take home decorating and organizing ideas and dress it up with pretty words to make into a little ley-lines for the home.

What brought this up?

I work for a library. Well, I work for 25 libraries, truth be told. Among other things we loan out are how-to videos. And we have 7 tapes on Feng Shui. (I believe we used to have more, but the borrowers must have lost them in the chaos of their homes.)

There are only 2 ways to put a tape into most video cases (unless you're purposefully being a jerk). And one of them is wrong.

IF YOU CAN'T PUT A TAPE BACK IN THE CASE SO IT CLOSES CORRECTLY YOU SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTING FENG SHUI!! SOMEONE WILL BE HURT!! And it may be you....

Step away from the vcr. Keep your hands where I can see them. Slowly, and I mean slowly, remove your library card from your wallet and place it on the counter. Now go home and never darken my path again.

Whew.

I need some coffee....

2005-07-05T17:35:00.000-07:00

Mmmmmmmm...... It's Buddha-rific!!

On the 3rd, Mrs Sivana and I were meandering about Garden Ridge, when we passed a wood-carved Buddha (as opposed to a wooden Buddha, which is a Buddha with little or no personality (I know, old joke. So am I. Deal.)).

This started a conversation about the "tastes great" (fat) vs "less filling" (thin) representations of Buddha. Mrs Sivana recalled that Buddha was fat with wisdom. I responded "Funny, I didn't know being smart was fattening". Looking down, I continued, "But I guess that explains a few things" and patted my stomach.

She rolled her eyes and said it was symbolic, that he wasn't actually fat. "So I just think I'm fat?" was my reply.

"No", she dead-panned. "You just think you're smart". And then she danced....

Is it any wonder I love this woman?

2005-07-05T10:59:00.000-07:00

Oyez.... Oyez...... Get yer band names here!!

T-shirts, bumber stickers, song and book titles.... Stuff is always popping into my head that should, but sadly doesn't, exist.

Here, for your perusal, are a couple band names that occured to me yester-eve, plus others from earlier times. If you're looking for a band name and happen to like them or any others I may post, feel free to make use of them, free of charge!! I only ask that you thank me (your humble host, Alexi Sivana) in the liner notes of your first release that has liner notes.

Jimmy TK and the Split Infinitives
(there's a Star trek reference in there somewhere)
Lovely Parting Gifts
Bungee Babies
Andrew Ridgley and the Spastic Bastards
The Beau Weevils

There are others, but I have yet to have enough coffee to be dealing with work much less recalling such archival humor. Maybe later....

2005-06-30T17:40:00.000-07:00

Storytime 1: Creamy or Extra-Crunchy?
This is my first post of my scribblings to this blog. It was writ in early '03 and has been posted on a couple messageboards about that time. One of those boards no longer exists and the other has been very quiet.

This was written for fellow comicgeeks, aimed especially at the fans of DC's Golden Age characters and all the retroactive stories and characters that have been added to DC's history. Many non-comicgeeks will be left scratching their heads.

Thus, an introduction:

Alexi Sivana (my nom de Net) was originally created to be the true identity of the Ultra-Humanite, a long-time DC villain (most recurrently a foe of the JSA). It has been mentioned in passing at least once that UH may not remember his real name, due to the brain transplants. I gave him one. The significance of the name is rooted in DC's Crisis on Infinite Earths and is a long one. I may get around to explaining it in a future lecture on geekery.

Johnny Thunder, while having (access to) a power in his own right, was the JSA's bumbling comedy relief. He may or may not be dead now.

Starman was also in the original Jsa and was the first in a line of heroes. His son retired as Starman and the current bearer of his cosmic rod is Stargirl (a member of the current JSA).

Sandman was another member of the original JSA. When he passed on, his (then) kid sidekick Sandy inherited his prophetic dreams and with other powers joined the current JSA as Sand. Sand is currently MIA.

Crimson Avenger is considered by many to be DC's first masked mystery man (what they called superheroes in the old days) and was a member of the Seven Soldiers of Victory. He's dead and a new Crimson Avenger is on the scene.

Flying Fox was a Native American from northern Canada. Given shamanistic powers by his grandfather, he joined the Young All-Stars, a teen auxilary to the All-Star Squadron (a super-group of almost all the mystery men operating during WWII). His current whereabouts or fate are unknown.

That should be enough to get you started. But I will post links to the above names over time to (potentially) help.

CREAMY OR EXTRA-CRUNCHY?
A condiment commendation from 1948
by Alexi Sivana, CRSVaL

As I recall it was 1948, and I was hiding out in Montreal. The mystery men once again thought me dead. All on account of that damned Johnny Thunder.

My last attempt at world domination had been a giant robot I was operating via remote control. I was going to take over post-war Japan and then..... Ah, never mind. Needless to say it didn't work. That clumsy Thunder stumbled into Starman, who dropped his Cosmic Rod, which stuck in a crack in the asphalt. The robot stepped on the rod, which cracked upon puncturing the foot, frying the robot and sending a feedback through the link back to my HQ, which (temporarily) fried me. On top of that, the blast blew me out of the building and into the sea.

Damned Johnny Thunder.

Anyway, I had been pulling jobs in the Triplets (NYC, Gotham and Metropolis) to get the money together for my next attempt. (Don't ask. It didn't work either. Sigh....) Sandman and the Crimson put two and two together and I thought it an opportune time to make my exit north.

Maybe I shouldn't have traveled by train.... Maybe I shouldn't have started pulling similar jobs once I got to Montreal.... Maybe..... Water under the bridge (or possibly a Stream of Ruthlessness through the Colorado grotto)..... I made a mistake. Sandman and Crimson followed me, enlisting the aid of Flying Fox to track me.

It was late. They caught up with me in a jewelry store, after hours. A battle ensued. We crashed through one business after another. I grabbed whatever I could find to use against them. Unfortunately the best I could do was in a bowling alley. Butter-substitute spilled on the floor and a couple well-thrown bowling balls slowed them down for a moment.

But only a moment.

After that came a gift shop, a corner grocery and a storage room, where I hid, with a still warm coffee urn, trying not to gasp as I checked for broken ribs and fingers. (One cracked rib from a can of cream corn, two broken fingers from a bowling ball.) I could hear sirens in the distance and I knew it wouldn't be long before Flying Fox would be able to find me with his magicks.

I didn't have time for anything big. It had to be quick. It had to be simple. It had to work against all three of them.

I smelled peanuts.

In my grouch bag I found a can of peanut butter split open (yeah, it was canned in those days) and scooped up a taste with my good hand. The peanut butter had splattered on my (few) ill-gotten gains ("You got peanut-butter on my diamond necklace!" "You got your necklace in my peanut-butter!") and the things I snagged in our rampage: a couple Zippos, lighter fluid, balloons, a can of chili, tape, ribbon, part of a now-broken bowling trophy and straws. In the storage room were boxes of I-don't-know-what, piles of newspapers and a few metal tubes.

A smile played across my face as I realized the trio of heroes all had one thing in common and I quickly downed a mug of coffee and went to work.

I set one of the tubes upright on the cement floor, stuffed wads of paper in the bottom, which I sprayed with lighter fluid. Setting the paper alight, I placed the can of peanut butter on the makeshift chimney and proceeded to melt it. I just hoped I had enough time. And coffee.

Once the peanut butter was sufficiently melted, I poured and forced it into the balloons using the straws. The whole procedure was complicated by my broken fingers and to this day I don't know why they didn't find me before I was finished. Possibly they were interrupted and had problems with the local police. There's no way to know at this late date.

But at least it gave me time to finish. I had 6 peanut butter balloons. A 7th burst in the process, but I was able to clean up to some small degree with the newspaper. My plan would not work cornered, so I gingerly loaded my grouch bag with the balloons and went to meet my tormentors.

I found them in a parking lot, inching slowly forward, police trailing a few paces behind. Flying Fox was in the lead casting some incantation while he walked. I guessed it was a locating spell to find me. As they were going to see me in a moment anyway, he was the least of my worries. Crimson and Sandman had their guns drawn. They came first.

One claim to fame I SHOULD have, but don't, is that I have damned fine hand/eye coordination. The first balloon hit Crimson square in the face, the second hit Sandman's gas gun, making it useless. The third I aimed at Flying Fox's medicine bag.

By this time I was standing upright. I was screaming something about my new invention: an acid-glue that stuck to and burnt flesh & bone. Lying my ass off to scare off the cops. It worked. The fourth and fifth hit Fox and Sandman in the face. The sixth I threw at the police to scatter them.

And that, my friend, is pretty much the whole story. No wonder the heroes never reported it. Would you want it to be known that you had been bested by peanut butter? Of course, if I had lost, I would be a laughing-stock amongst the spandex crowd.

I found out later, in a verbal battle with Sandman, that at the time they didn't even know it was me! Probably the most angry I have ever seen him. I don't think he ever told the others.

Heh. And as I sit here writing in my journals, I can see that self-same bowling trophy on the fireplace's mantle, a monument to absurdity and the power of caffeine.

2005-06-30T16:08:00.000-07:00

Look at me!!! I'm blogging! I'm bloooogggggiiiinnnnggggg!!
(with apologies to Bill Murray)

Y'know..... I just know remembered I had started a blog. It took a combination of mentioning that I had written a little ficiton to some people and reading The Darth Side for me to remember.

Obviously, I have too much blood in my coffee-system....

Anyways, here's some odd links I've run across:
Star Trek New Voyages
which is producing seasons 4 and 5 of classic Trek!!

Batman: Dead End
which has the a Joker that HAS to have been inspired by the excellently creepy Arkham Asylum.

And there is a familial connection between the Dead End and New Voyages projects, which I will let you discover on your own.

2003-05-21T13:17:00.000-07:00

Obviously from the amount of time I've spent working on this, I'm a prime candidate for running a full blog.

Not.

I do have an idea for a messageboard, tho: The Island of Misfit Goys.

2003-05-01T16:01:00.000-07:00

Morning time-saver or just sad? Either way, I'm curious.

2003-04-28T14:59:00.000-07:00

I keep having ideas for t-shirts that *should* exist.

Case in point: Medicated for your protection.

I may have to set up a store @ Cafe Press.

2003-04-28T14:46:00.000-07:00

Does anyone know if canned air horns are made to blow specific notes or if they can be tuned? If so, I think I have an idea for the next talent show. Either "Stairway to Heaven" or "Silent Night". No water glasses for me!

2003-04-28T09:29:00.000-07:00

Well. After that, some good news. I may have to become Catholic.

2003-04-28T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sonovabitch! Maybe we should conquer France. And all this on the same day that the Telegraph in the UK broke with a link between Iraq and Al-Qa'eda!

2003-04-24T16:50:00.000-07:00

The 2-disc version of Two Towers was to come out in July, but has been pushed back to Aug 26th. I maintain that it's because of the dual release of Popeye and Lost in La Mancha on June 24th. People are going to need time for their wallet to recover to even think of buying Two Towers and I think Warner Bros is hedging their bets.

But my wife only gave me a dirty look and walked off muttering to herself when I first proposed this.

2003-04-19T12:28:00.000-07:00

Popeye and Lost in La Mancha both come out on DVD June 24, 2003!! Has there ever been a better DVD day?

I think not.

2003-04-17T15:55:00.000-07:00

And with the aid of Babelfish, the same limerick translated to and then back from Japanese:

The tooth of that fake was maintained in the bucket
which has the curator from one time Nantucket.
When he asks to the degree
which he says you bit from the grime and took the scar.
Pun everyone thought, on the other hand it inhaled.

Oddly enough, it may actually have been improved.

2003-04-17T15:47:00.000-07:00

My first (and, God-willing, only) Limerick:

There once was a janitor from Nantucket
Who kept his false teeth in a bucket.
When asked, every time,
He'd say he was taking a bite out of grime.
A pun which everyone thought rather suck-ed.

2003-04-17T12:18:00.000-07:00

Blahdeblah.... Might as well try to add a link to my attempts at online fanfic. It features a spazoid version of Kid Eternity I co-created in an game.

2003-04-16T15:45:00.000-07:00

Snnnnniiiiifffffff!!

Ah, that "new blog" smell. Nothing like it.

Except maybe for a month old catbox.